National Lampoons: Attack of the 5 ft 2 Women

Tonya: The Battle of Wounded Knee is the story of Tonya Hardly, the figure skater with an ego as big as her behind. Surrounded by a hapless cast of characters, including her mother, Lawanda (Stella Stevens), her pitiful ex-husband Jeff Googooly (John Hoffman) and bodyguard-as-James-Bond-wannabe Sean Heckardt (Eric Edwards). Hardly is determined to destroy the career of her main competition, too-cute Nancy Cardigan (Khrystyne Haje). The Hardly contingent concocts a plot to disable the rival Cardigan during a critical moment in the Olympic trials. Unfortunately for Hardly, the two bumbling hitmen hired by Heckardt only manage to inflict a bruise on Cardigan. While poor Nancy recovers in bed surrounded by stuffed animals, the police track down and arrest Heckardt. He immediately fingers Googooly who in turn, ‘rats out’ Tonya. Although the Olympic Committee allows Hardly to skate at Lillehammer in spite of her crime, it’s to no avail: her dream of beating Cardigan is dashed when she slips on a Jujubee.